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Solace


Author
Anna Walczak
contributor
AMW (she/her) - activist, future human rights lawyer and colorful clothes lover. She likes to write, explore Berlin and learn from her own mistakes. Feminist since 1998.


A story about cozy feeling.

A long time ago a girl met a boy. He was not really the type of guy, who was meant for her. She was very rare, and he was not really familiar with taking care of a gem such as her . They were confused about this match, but it did not stop them from falling in love. It was all about late night walks, Middle Eastern food, drunk karaoke stories, her innocence and his dissemblance. He opened up to her, she saw him crying, he took her for granted, she named him: her first real cozy feeling. Whenever she was sad, she was thinking of thesense of comfort he gave her. His warm body, her small hand in his, his amazing cooking skills, her broken heart, their lack of communication. She let him in again, how could she not take back her cozy feeling. He changed, she still was rare, he was still a terrible singer, and she never forgave him. She needed him to adore, cheer and love her. Their adventures, his great love, her colorful personality, his unseen battles, her pink heart shaped sunglasses. She was his cozy feeling, or at least hopped to be. Her love note kept in his wallet, gave him comfort even 600 kilometers away from her. His hippie t-shirt cuddled her into sleepless nights. Their fights, his painful words, her unexpressed frustrations, his lack of interest, her fake smile. Something similar to love ended again, with her heart broken and his empty promises. She was still a rare gem. He was still familiar to her, but she knew that only because something is familiar does not mean it is  good. Her strength, her story, her lesson, from now on, to be her own cozy feeling. Her campy clothes, her loyal friends, her supportive family, her favorite take away food and bottomless brunches. She sought solace in herself.